Oh boy. where do I begin. Well as you can tell from my last post. I'm starting to notice the shadow bits and challenges that come with making big decisions and changes. A big thing I've noticed is that for being the open person I am, I'm actually quite afraid to open up to others. There are many reason why we can fear baring our souls to the world or any given individual at a time. I've been hearing a lot of them come up in my thought process. I am learning to have faith and trust, in myself and others and what's happening around me.
Yesterday the internet was out for the entire state of Vermont using Otelco. Uh doesn't bode well for my budding business desires. I imagine I'll be needing at least minimal internet for a number of things.
Any way here I was in a home with no internet and the day to myself. It was actually quite lovely. I dug out old cds that had been made for me over my life time and blasted them through the house while I did dishes, folded laundry, and DANCED. I took a walk outside and starting making new mala designs for the retail section I hope to have at the shop! #malasbymelissa
Sean came home and had a number of concerns about his current investment undertaking (me and the shop...ekks). His concerns were valid, the conversation was ...tougher. I noticed myself feeling under attack and the need to defend my vision and process. When I brought this up and spoke about when the triggering came in we felt the mood of the room shift. I asked him to speak specifically about his fears and advocate for the ideas or changes he felt strongly about. It has been challenging for me to come up against questioning and it also helps me stand more firmly and see more clearly what is part of this vision. It is ever evolving just like we are, just like the world is. With that in mind he implored me to consider keeping Love Play Grow as the name of our store. To evoke the energy that is inherent in our beliefs of keeping fresh, of having fun, and of spreading love and joy to others. I felt happy to hear his view of the business/energy I've been building for the past several years and to explore the light free and fun feeling I experience when thinking about opening a storefront of Love Play Grow.
It misses a slightly darker, more earthy, grounding feeling that I want to express. We also spoke about running the business as two sections. It feels definitely overwhelming and I know we still have time to make these sorts of decisions.
It certainly would be convenient with all my LPG in progress already! We'll see.
I spoke to my mom about the general idea of the shop and she loves it, which felt really awesome. She'll be helping us look at a financial plan soon and schedule budgeting (all my least favorite things to think about and what comes second nature to her, I'm damn grateful for the help.) PS: today is her birthday so shout out real quick to my momma! Happy March 7th you beautiful lady, you!!!
I haven't come out publicly with this idea yet. or even this blog. I'm hoping to soon. before we hit day 200. I'm not sure what it is I'm waiting for.
Last night I made a new mala design. 108 seeds of intention planted on the new moon (Sap moon). A moon representing over flow of energy. A reminder to believe... Today I will string it together with love and dedication, that which I hope to bring each day to this life and this project.
Happy Thursday Sweets! <3